Focusing illusions even distort our judgments about ourselves. In another study, some college students were asked, “How happy are you?” and then “How many dates did you have last month?” The researchers found a pretty weak correlation between the level of happiness and the number of dates. But then (hilariously) the researchers flipped the order of the two questions. Suddenly, there was a strong correlation. Having just confessed to a lack of dates, students reported that their lives were joyless.
Dan Heath and Chip Heath. “The Curse of Incentives” Fast Company Feb 2009: 49
On my way to work this morning, I heard an ad on the radio for the Ashley Madison Agency. It is a “dating” site for people already in relationships, more specifically married, looking to have affairs.
I personally believe having an affair outside your relationship is wrong but things happen. People sometimes develop feelings for another person outside their relationship. Whether it leads to an affair depends on the person acting on those feelings or not.
I don’t believe in “Once a cheater, always a cheater”. Some people just make mistakes. I’m not saying they should be forgiven. They should face the consequences for their actions but they shouldn’t forever be labeled as cheaters.
Cheaters are people that go to sites like Ashley Madison. If you’re actively seeking other people outside your relationship, you’re a cheater.
If you’re going go on sites like this, why be in a relationship? This is not about being in an open relationship. Some people are in open relationships and I can respect that but this is about having discreet affairs. I don’t get it. Read more…
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